


Wounded: Our Journey Home

by SafiyahS



Category: SafiyahsUniverse
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-07-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:53:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 21,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21889210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SafiyahS/pseuds/SafiyahS





	1. Chapter 1

For all current and new readers, if I have any punctuation or grammatical errors in this story, please feel free to point them out for me. -Safiyah S

Edited

Ayah stood outside of the airport, trying her best to hold in the tears that were threatening to fall. It was just too much for her. To say goodbye to her husband wasn't something she expected, especially so soon after they got married. But life is full of surprises. As the rest of the family said their goodbyes, Jafar turned around to face his wife of three months.

Ayah wiped a stray tear, smiling so she would look strong, but everyone saw right through her, especially Jafar. He felt the same way, but he was better at hiding it.

"I'm not going to sugar coat this. Even though this may not be logical, I've seen in movies how when someone from a small town gets fame, they forget about their love interest and live it to the fullest."

Jafar shook his head and held her hand in his.

"Ayah, I will contact you all the time."

"You'll want to, but I know you won't be able to all the time. We are going to drift apart."

"Hey," He held her tight in his arms, savoring their last moments before he left. "That's not going to happen."

"Yes it is! But I just want to let you know that I'll always be in Riverside if it doesn't work out. Someone has to say they told you so."

Jafar smiled lightly at Ayah, wondering how he could leave her. How they could say goodbye and not see each other for months at a time. 

'Final call for flight 1284 to Los Angeles, final call for flight 1284 to Los Angeles'

"That's your cue," Ayah smiled weakly, giving Jafar one last kiss, she stepped back to be pulled into Um Jafar's side.

"Salaam, Ayah."

She sniffed. "Salaam, Jafar."

As they all watched him walk away in silence, Um Jafar let out a heavy sigh.

"Ayah, it takes courage to see him walk away like this."

"He wants to live his dream," Ayah replied, but as she thought about it, it sounded more like she was trying to convince herself.

"I am so angry that he left, but at the same time I want him to do good. What does that say for what I'm feeling?"

Um Jafar smiled lightly at her daughter in law. "It means that you are a woman in love. You can be upset with him and want him to do well. You are stronger than any woman I've seen, Ayah. Don't doubt that."

"I don't know how long I can take without being with him. It's like my heart is...," She trailed off, not knowing the correct word.

"Broken?" Um Jafar tried, but Ayah shook her head.

"Something like that. I don't know..."

"Well," Um Jafar draped an arm around her shoulder. "The broken pieces can heal-- you will heal, InshaAllah."

"How can we heal when we will forever be wounded?" She asked, looking up with tears in her eyes.

The fact is, no one can answer her question becuase no one knows the answer.

-*-

I'm not going to post the first chapter for a while, unless I get good feedback. Please tell me what you think!

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	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapters was recently deleted from wattpad and i have to rewrite it. until then you can read it on wattpad. my user is misshijabi3

soon to come!


	3. Chapter 3

Published: July 6 2015, Monday 12:38 a.m

Ayah:

July 2nd

'The wind blew in Amy's hair as she sat at her mothers grave, staring out and beyond at the life she could have had if she hadn't talked. If she hadn't crushed the only trust she had. Maybe--"

I crumbled up the last sheet of paper I had, groaning in frustration. I don't remember writing being this hard before. An idea usually came to mind usually when I was at home, cup of milk in hand, watching re-runs of old western shows. Then again I was laying in Jafar's arms, not knowing that the happiness would end sooner than expected.

Ever since I was a child I wanted to write. The stories my mother read me were all the same--children's books that didn't have a twist to it. Even as I was nine years old, I knew what I wanted to pursue. With my growing imagination, I kept thinking about all the ideas that would swirl in my mind.

But to be fair, all I could think about was a Muslim princess, nothing major. But when I reached about thirteen, ideas about secret agents and all got stuck in my brain. Since then it's fluctuated to a mixture of all.

I picked up my pencil again, ready to write. Nothing.

"How is the writing going?" Mama asked from the kitchen where she was fixing some breakfast. 

"It's not," I put my notebook down, standing up to walk into the kitchen to grab an apple.

"Have you tried milk? When you were younger that stuff was the best remedy there was."

I shook my head, leaning on my elbow. "Mama, is there something wrong with me?"

She stopped whisking the eggs to frown at me, no doubt about to tell me that I'm wrong, but I know I'm not. All this time I thought that Allen was the reason why he wouldn't call, write or even ask me to come to visit him in California. What if I'm the reason?

The reason why he chose to please absolute strangers other than his family. Now it's all starting to click. Why he's been distant. I thought he changed, but the sad truth is that I think he's trying to forget about me. About his old life so that he can focus on his future. A future that I doubt I am apart of.

No, I have to stop thinking the worst. I know him. I know Jafar wouldn't purposely abandon his family for money and fame. That's not him, no.

I stood up from my position at the table and made my way to my room. I need to get out of here. I need some air before I suffocate in my own self consciousness.

-*-

Usually when someone wants to forget the cause of their worries, they go and have fun to forget about everything in general--they make the thoughts disappear. It hurts too much to think about, so they make their mind blank. They want to be alone.

But me, I am apparently not as normal as I thought. Because I did none of the above. Here, now, I'm sitting under a tree, overlooking the Riverside Lake--our Lake, wondering how I ended up coming here alone.

This was our spot.

Jafar and I originally found it when we went for a stroll a couple days after our wedding. It's a beautiful Lake with a small bridge where you could jump into the water. And yes, we did jump in when no one was there. It just felt right. The sun beaming down on us, the breeze perfectly blew through hot air. 

It was perfect.

Without realizing it, a tear rolled down my cheek and light chuckles escaped me. 

I haven't even cried since he left. I just didn't have any tears left to shed, nor did I need to. I agreed, there was no going back. But something with the call last night shifted something in me. It brought all the emotions for when he left. 

Cliche as it is, my heart is still hurting, broken, there is no name for it. Well, none that I can think of.

-*-

After my rather sad day at the Lake, I decided to take another stroll, but this time around Riverside. Its actually a wonder of a town, even though right now it looks vacant. To some it may seem like another one of those small towns where everyone knows everything, they're related to the next persons mother and so on, but sadly it's partly true.

There are mom and pop shops on every corner, a local art studio for the kids who want to vandalize the city with graffiti. The whole town set up is one off of a movie of some sort.

As I rounded the corner of another row of stores, I spotted Mrs. Tyler on a ladder. She's a short older woman, black hair with specs of grey. She owns the Diner in the middle of town. Everybody loves the Diner, especially since she was kind enough to serve Halal food.

She's been a close family friend since I was about ten. She has a couple of kids, but they moved to a bigger City with their families and rarely looked back. Now she lives here with her dog Doug and her foster daughter Carmyn; she's eighteen.

"Good morining," I smiled, walking up to get a better view of what she was doing. Putting up decorations. The Fourth of July is only a couple of days away, so everyone's putting up the last of their decorations until then. 

"Ayah," Dianne beamed, climbing down frown the ladder to hug me, "It's been too long dear, how's your Mama?"

I pulled back from the hug first and picked up a banner.

"She's doing really well, you?"

Dianne climbed back on the ladder and pointed to the banner in my hand. I gave it to her and awaited her reply.

"I'm trying to finish these decorations last minute. Let me tell you, don't wait until the last minute or when you're busy to do heavy lifting at an old age."

"You're not old," I scolded her, handing her the red streamer.

"I am old, you know why?" I shook my head. "Because I'm at the stage where everything starts to become a chore. Camryn helps me when she can, but I have her running all the errands that I'm physically incapable of doing. I really should sell the Diner to Pete Richman."

Not only is his name accurate, but so is his reputation. The Richman family have lived in Riverside for decades and own a lot of the big establishments. And if they don't own all of them, they'll buy them from the families that couldnt give up the opportunity. Dianne's Diner is one of the few places they don't own. Occording to them, small shops like the ice cream parlor aren't worth the buy. They've been trying to get Dianne to sell for years.

They're not very liked in this town, but what could we do? They basically own it.

"Don't do that!" I exclaimed, giving her the last of the decorations to hang up, "Everyone loves the Diner because you own it! No one wants that family to rule."

While laughing, Dianne climbed down the ladder and shook her head in amusement. "Ayah, you are as passionate about the Diner since you were a kid."

"Dianne," I sighed and followed her inside. There are only a couple of people eating at the tables. 

"Debby, can you bring in those boxes from the storage room?"

Debby, a college student who works here during the summer smiled at Dianne and went to the storage room.

"I'm serious, Dianne. The Richman's own too much of the town as it is. Its not up to them to decide what happens to other people's lives for their own gain!"

Dianne stood there watching me carefully. Did I say something wrong? It's just that family gets on my nerves!

"Are you talking about the Richman's or yourself?"

What is she talking about?

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "I'm talking about the Richman's. They have no respect for others peoples choices to run their lives."

"Ayah, you're not talking about them. You're talking about your husband and his choices."

I shook my head and sat at the counter. "Dianne, the last thing I want to think about are his choices. I said yes, it's done."

"But it's not in your eyes," Dianne sat beside me and held my hand in hers. "I know the feeling, Ayah. My husband left me and our kids to go to battle and never came back. I have to live with myself knowing that the last conversation we had I was yelling. I told him I hated him, and you know why?"

I wiped a tear from my eye and shook my head.

"Because I knew that the chance of him coming back was slim. Jafar will come back, believe that."

"It's been so long," I whispered and clutched the water that Debby put in front of me in my hands. "It hurts to know that we can't have it both ways."

"You have to have faith that Allah will help you," I smiled at that, remembering all the times that Dianne would come as a guest to the Masjid. She kind of adopted a lot of what we do.

"Thank you," I leaned over to give her a hug, releasing a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Promise me that you will talk to him. I really love the relationship you had before he left."

I nodded. "I promise."

"Ayah," Camryn came out of the back room, sprinting towards me. She grabbed the remote and turned on the TV.

"Carmyn, what is it?" Dianne asked slightly cautious of her daughters tone.

Carmyn just pointed at the TV. "Jafar's having an interview."

I sat up straighter so I could concentrate on what he was saying.

"Isn't that the famous boy from our town?" A guy asked from the back of the Diner. Dianne raised her hand at him to quiet.

"Jafar, what are your plans for this holiday?" The reporter asked Jafar.

He looks the same. His hair is the same dark messy style under his Kufi, his eyes are as chocolate as the last time I saw him, and he has a slight stubble on his jaw.

I don't know how many times I told him to grow out his beard.

"Well, Marcus, I plan on spending the holiday with my family."

As he said this, I froze, all eyes in the room on me. He's coming back? I can't help but to feel happy, but why didn't he tell me? In the back you can clearly see Allen stiffen from the news. Looks like he didn't know.

"Ayah," Dianne smiled giving me a side hug. "That's great."

I nodded, confirming that it was, but conflicted. I want to feel happy, but it's been so long. Will things be the same as when he left? I guess we have to take it slow. But one thing kept me smiling.

He's coming home.

-*-  
I know this chapter is slightly boring, but I wanted to stretch the story. I hope you like it.

Also, if anyone wants to put a banner on a chapter, please tell me. It doesn't have to look professional, just your best.

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	4. Chapter 4

Edited 

Published: July 7 2015 Tuesday 3:53 a.m

Ayah:

July 3rd

"Ayah, we're going to be late setting up!"

"One second," I yelled down to Mama while rushing to the mirror to put in the last pin. Today we're going to my first cousins wedding a couple of towns over. Hopefully it will take my mind off of...things.

When I left the Diner to come home, I tried calling Jafar three times but there wasn't any answer. Normally I and any other woman would feel like something was wrong, but the sad truth is that this is normal. Before I picked up the phone I knew there was a 90% chance that he wouldn't answer due to the busy week ahead, but a girl can hope, right?

I grabbed my purse from the counter and jogged forward to get in the car. I'm surprised I didn't fall. Even though the heels are barely off the ground, they're not really my kind of shoe. It drives my family crazy, but my favorite shoes are converse. Hey, you can't knock 'em till you try them.

"Finally," Uncle Yaman exclaimed playfully, grabbing the key to start the car.

"Are we late?" I widened my eyes and peered at the clock to see the time.

11: 43 a.m

The wedding doesn't start until four. I really should check the time more.

"We're right on time," Mama mumbled while typing away on her phone. Well more like tapping each button with one finger. I'll never understand why technology is harder for most adults then kids.

"Does anyone know the bride?" I asked aloud. They shrugged in response.

"I heard that she comes from a rich family," Aunt Suhaila said pursing her lips. "But the girl does have a reputation. I heard some horrifying things from Afifa!"

"Suhaila, you need to stop gossiping with your friends," Uncle Yaman scolded her.

As Aunt Suhaila waved him off, I sat crouched in the back trying to hide my laughter.

-*-

Jafar:

"I can't believe you did that without my consent!" Allen yelled at me and started pacing around the front room of my apartment. I spit the mouth wash I was gargling in the sink and turned to him.

"Can't this wait until I fully wake up? It's eight in the morning!"

"I wouldn't have to be here yelling if you didn't talk so much yesterday. I was close to booking you to play at the Hollywood bash before you ruined your chances. I just want to know why."

I slipped my toothbrush back in its holder and turned around to walk to the kitchen for breakfast. Starving isn't even the right word to describe how I feel.

"Jafar!"

I raised my eyebrow to my talkative manager and grabbed the ingredients I need to make an omelet. Ya Allah, that sounds so good right now.

"Allen, I haven't been home in almost a year. I don't have anything lined up for about two months, so why not?"

"Because you have to retake your photoshoot disaster."

I chuckled to myself and poured the egg batter into the pan. Like I'm agreeing to do that again.

"Nothing was wrong with the original one, Allen. I told them I wanted subtle."

He scoffed. "You looked like a freacking statue! You need something that will get people to buy your albums, not yawn."

I narrowed my eyes at him and took out some sausage and another pan for the oven. Allen definitely needs a life.

"I'm not going shirtless if that's what you mean. Just me standing in front of a white surface where they will do their creative work is enough."

Allen rolled his eyes and plopped down on my couch. 

"I know what the fans want. A calm and subtle singer is not that."

"Then this generation is corrupt," I shot back, pulling out some cereal, bowl and milk. I don't even know if this is enough. I am starving!

"Well so will your image if you keep stuffing your face with food."

"Hey!"

He raised his hand in defense and shrugged. "You're the one stuffing your face like food will become extinct."

I grabbed the spatula from the bin and started to flip my omelet as I waited tor the sausage to be done. Looking around the kitchen gave me another ping to my heart. Ayah would love it. She always did love cooking. Even before we got married, our families would do dinners after Jum'aa at the park and Ayah would make Kufta curry. A lot of the reason I fell in love with her was because of her cooking.

"Okay, I have a way to fix these troubles you're having."

I stopped flipping my delicious looking omelet to raise my eyebrow at Allen.

"And that is?"

"Move her here," He says like its the easiest thing in the world. To some it may be, but this isn't what Ayah wants. She has told me time and time again how much she loves Riverside. Moving her here for my own happiness is not something I could live with. 

I love her too much.

I turned back around to put my food on a plate.

"That's not an option. If it was, she would have been here by now."

"Well," Allen sighed. "Then you have to find a way to concentrate without her or atleast have her in the same City. This whole being depressed thing is just...annoying. Yeah, that's the word."

"Have you ever been in love, my friend."

Allen laughed, like crying with laughter and hitting his leg.

"Love isn't m-my thing," He said through his laughter. Believe it or not, Allen has a joking side to him. Even though he's laughing like a hyena right now, he can be wise sometimes. If it wasn't for him through college, I wouldn't know which classes not to take, professors not to piss off, and more importantly, the day I learned that Ayah was as interested in me as I was in her, he pushed me out of the way of a car.

Granted I broke my shoulder, wrist and leg, I did live. That's a bonus.

"What about that girl from college? Her name was something to do with water."

"Seeya," Allen told me rolling his eyes. "She and I haven't spoken since she got knocked up by that dumb quarterback."

"So you stereotype, too," I asked.

Looking up, I could see that he was making himself some breakfast as well. He better wash some dishes!

"I wouldn't have to if the guy didn't ask me why his hair isn't like Harry styles, whoever he is."

I laughed at that and grabbed the last peice of sausage.

"Can you cook me some more meat?"

"Do I look like your personal butler?" He asked smirking. "But since you asked nicely, no."

I rolled my eyes and got up to get the last crumb that was left. That's what happens when you both eat like animals.

I sat my plate in the sink and proceeded to make popcorn.

"You literally just ate," Allen stated the obvious while stuffing his face.

"Well you ate all my favorite sausage."

"Touché."

-*-

Ayah:

"Where is my veil, Hamida? I can't go out of that room until I have it!"

Anwara--Annie, Safeer's fiancé shouted at her bridesmaid, steam practically coming out of her ears. I don't remember being this type of bridezilla on my wedding day. I was more of an annoyingly happy bride on my wedding day. People were running away saying 'She's way too happy' and 'How is she even getting married.'

But from what all her friends and family, she's a sweet girl and that her tone is just her nervousness.

"Samira, don't eat that! I don't want my bridesmaids looking fat!"

With a scowl, Samira placed the cookie she was eating on its plate. How can a little cookie make someone fat in forty five minutes?!

"Annie, you need to chill," Her sister Kareema told her, staring nervously at Anwara. "Your veil will be here in a second. You need to sit down and take deep breaths."

"Why do I--"

"Deep breaths!" Kareema exclaimed and pointed to the chair Annie was standing on. "Either you take deep breaths, or I will find something to calm you down--something like my fist."

"Kareema!" Their mother exclaimed, staring wide eyes at both her daughters.

Reluctantly, Annie sat down and started taking deep breaths. Finally.

"Ayah habibti," Aunt Rabia-- Safeer's Ummi smiled as she hugged me. "It's been too long my sweet girl. How are you?"

As we pulled back from the hug, I gave her a small smile. "I'm doing good Aunty, you?"

She pulled me to the side of the room and let out a breath. "I am very good, MashaAllah. My son is getting married! But more importantly, how are you? I heard that Jafar is visiting for the holidays. When will he be here?"

He, uh," I smiled nervously, not knowing what I would tell her. I knew that something like this would happen, but I didn't quite know how I was going to handle it.

I never pictured myself lying to one of the most influential women in my life. 

"Rabia, can you help me with a slight issue?"

Saved by my Mama.

Aunt Rabia apologized to me and walked away. No doubt Mama knew what our conversation was about. But I fear of the next person to ask me the same question.

-*-

"Asalamu Alaikum, baby cousin."

I smiled at Safeer and went to give him a hug. Safeer and I practically grew up together after my fathers passing. His father, my fathers brother acted as my father after he passed. Safeer is more of my brother than my cousin, especially considering he actually is my brother. That fact we didn't learn until later on in our lives. What made it even more interesting is that we learned we are milk siblings.

"I can't believe you're getting married," I whispered into the hug, wiping a tear from my eye.

"Don't cry," He grumbled, pulling away to glare at me. "I don't do tears, Ayah. Its not like I'm moving to Antartica."

"But you're getting married!"

"When you got married I didn't act like this," He shot back.

My smile faltered a little but I soon replaced it with a small smile, but Safeer knowing me so well frowned.

"Ayah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

"It's okay," I told him with a shaky voice. "It's just been a while since anyone mentioned my wedding. It brought back memories."

"When is he coming back so he can be better acquainted with my fist?"

I chuckled and sat down at one of the couches. 

"I don't know what he's doing. He told a reporter he was coming for the Fourth, but I don't know."

"Yeah, I saw that," Safeer nodded and sat down next to me. "But didn't he at least call and tell you?"

I shook my head, "We don't speak often. But, hey, I don't want you thinking about my marriage problems. You're getting married." He rolled his eyes. "I will keep saying it until you put a ring on it, now go!"

Safeer did as I said and stood up.

"Hang in there," He told me. "InshaAllah it will get better. And if it doesn't, give me a call."

-*-

"I would like to make a toast!" The room settled down, all heads turning towards where Safeer and Annie stood at the head table. 

As everyone turned to the front, Safeer grabbed the mic from the podium.

"I want to thank everyone for coming here for our wedding, May Allah bless you all. When I first saw Annie, I'm not going to lie, she was very...different. We were both in line to get some ice cream when she asked me if she could skip in front of me. Me being the jerk said no, big mistake," The crowd laughed at this. "When she got her ice cream, she bought two. I didn't understand why until I felt something cold on my neck. Yes that's right, sweet little Annie here assaulted me with a very cold, sticky delicious dessert.

"But when I knew it was meant to be was when my Abu asked me what I thought of her. The exact words I said were "You expect me to marry someone who threw ice cream at my neck?" Of course he laughed," I looked over to see Uncle Naim in fact laughing at his son. "But nonetheless, we got to know each other, and bam here we are. Ladies and gentlemen that is our story."

Everyone gave applause and got ready for the buffet. 

-*-

Jafar:

"You sure you want to do this?"

I rolled my eyes and proceeded to get out of the car.

"Allen, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I didn't."

"Okay," He raised his hands in surrender and gave me a notebook. "I won't stop you, but I will have you read over your new songs."

"I write my own."

"I know, but I thought you could use some inspiration. All your songs are about Ayah."

Hesitantly, I grabbed the book and adjusted my backpack. No doubt I would forget to read what it contains.

"Be back in a couple of months. That's how long it will take for us to repair your bad boy image."

"One missed show doesn't make me a bad boy."

"Whatever," He waved off. "Do what you need to do and get back. I won't tolerate your career sinking for homesickness."

"Is this your way of saying you care about me?" I gushed making him scowl.

"Bye!"

"Good-bye to you too, Allen."

I closed the door and turned to face the airport.

I'm finally going home.

-*-

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	5. Chapter 5

Edited

Published: July 12 2015, Sunday 2:17 a.m

Banner made by @NidaSarah 

Jafar: 

July 3rd

You would think after all my months of fame that I would be used to all the stares and giggles I get, but I'm not. Yeah it's flattering and all to know that I caused people that reaction, but there is a time when it gets creepy and uncomfortable. 

Like right now.

I'm sitting here in one of the very uncomfortable airport chairs, and what do you know, I just happen to sit a row away from five giggling girls. They're not even being discreet! One of them basically shouted about how sexy I look. I mean, come on, privacy? But then again, you don't get privacy from this job. You get the flattery, the fame, the fortune, but no peace. None.

Okay, I admit I'm making it sound sort of depressing, especially since I'm not at the point of the annoying camera monkeys, but I'm sure I'm not far from it. The way the girls are taking pictures of me like crazy, I'm sure I'll be all over social media in a couple of hours. 

'First call for flight 228, L.A.X, first call for flight 228 L.A.X.'

"He's so hot!" One of the girls squealed while looking back and fourth from me and her friends. Now it's just annoying. Grabbing my bag from the floor, I made my way to the front gate.

"Ticket please?" The woman offered me a kind smile as I gave it to her and she scanned it. "Have a nice flight."

As I was walking down the hallway towards the plane, I could look out and see the sun shining over the city. I'm really going to miss the sights. Even though the weather is like Florida's, it's just the thought of being in California. This place has been my home for almost a year. I'm not going to lie and say that I don't miss it, because I do, but I miss Riverside more. I miss the small town I grew up in, the nice people, the annoying people, local hangouts, and most importantly, my family. I miss them the most.

I just hope that Ayah isn't upset that I didn't tell her I was coming. I don't even know if she saw the interview. But I don't think I could spend another minute away from her. I feel bad enough that I haven't physically seen her in 10 months; another day will make a difference.

As I got to the front of the plane I checked my ticket for my seat.

B21

Looking back and fourth from my ticket, I made my way down the isle until I came across the right seat. The rows on the plane seat two, and seeing as the plane was packed enough as it is, I'm more than likely going to have a seat buddy. And what do you know. Right when I sat down, a dark haired guy came and sat next to me.

"Russell King," He held out his hand for me to shake, not taking his eyes off of his IPhone.

I lifted my hand to shake his, "Jafar Ibrahim."

"I know," He shrugged and pointed in the direction behind us. "As I was walking to take my seat, this brunette chick was tweeting about being on a plane with you."

"Oh," I looked backwards, and like he said, a girl had her phone up high, basically jumping over the seat trying to take a picture of me.

"Don't worry she isn't going to get many views."

"How can you be so sure?" I grumbled and hid my face from her view. I never thought that I would get to the part where I would have psycho fans.

"Because she can't see you," He explained and purses his lips. "Even as I was walking by, all the pictures were of you with your head down. People aren't going to respond if they can't even identity you."

Looking back at her, he shook his head. "Amateur."

-*-

Ayah:

"Can I have another please?"

The woman serving the drinks nodded and went to get me another soda. I need something carbonated to get me through the rest of this wedding. It's almost over though. Most of the people left are just talking and cleaning up.

Some of the elder woman got to me, much to my dismay. They of course wanted to know how I was, they wanted to tell me how much I've grown even though I've been the same height since I was seventeen, but they were being polite. I can't fault them. And last but definitely not least, they wanted to know why I didn't have my husband with me. Some thought he was dead, others thought we got a divorce, which they gave me a very long discourse about.

But when I finally reminded them that he was in California, they then admonished me for not going with him. Saying how I'm his wife and I should follow him wherever he is. I tried to explain to them the situation--I did, but they weren't having it. Then I was subjected to story time of their youth. I literally just escaped, thanks to Safeer.

As soon as he showed up, all the attention was put on him--I can't be more grateful. It's not that I have something against my elders, I don't. But when you're asked the same question over and over again, it gets too much. Now I'm scarfing down soda like its a lifeline. Stress my friends.

"Here you go."

Igrabbed the cup from the woman. Thanking her, I went back to my table to drink in peace. Everyone around me seems so happy, I am too, of course. Safeer is like the brother I never got, but as I replay all the questions anyone has ever asked me tonight, I realize how my life has turned out in the last few months.

I barely smile, everybody is in my business, I don't do anything but take care of Mama. What a life it is. But I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. Ever since he left, I've been moping around putting these thoughts in my head--thoughts that shouldn't be thought of. 

And what am I doing now? Frowning at my cousins wedding, thinking of more ways to hate my husband and drinking way too much soda. I know there's a word for what I've been like for the past year, but I can't think of it. Whatever it is, I need to stop it.

-*-

"Make sure you come and visit us soon," Safeer told me sternly and gave me another hug, then pulls back to put an arm around a blushing Annie. She's not as bad as I thought she was, even though she showed what she's like under pressure. But I can't fault her for that. Everybody has flaws.

"I will, but you two should spend some time together before you have guest. I know what's it's like after the wedding."

If possible, Annie blushed harder and walked forward to give me a rather awkward hug.

"It was nice to meet you," She whispered hugging me tightly. "Like Safeer said, you and your husband should come over for dinner soon. Preferably in a couple of weeks."

Chuckling, I pulled back from our hug, "I will, inshaAllah."

"Ayah, it's time to go."

Nodding over to Uncle Yaman, I have one last hug to Safeer and got in the car. After I weaved myself off of my unlimited caffeine supply, I slapped a smile on my face--literally slapped myself to get a smile, and helped cleaning up to blow off the rage I had. Now I have a slightly red cheek to deal with.

Throughout the whole ride home, I couldn't help thinking of my writing career. How I gave up after one editor said it needed work. Writing has always been something I wanted to do, but with my low self esteem I gave up after my rejection. I was and still am afraid to put my work out there for someone else to ignore because it's not unique enough for people to buy.

But now I feel as though I should work even harder to pursue my dream.

Okay, emotional pep talk over.

That was exhausting.

-*-

Jafar:

"You did not!"

Russell nodded and took another swig of his soda.

"I swear I did! That is the last time I agree to help my idiot cousin hunt a grizzly."

"Well did you catch the bear?" I asked and grabbed a handful of my popcorn. 

We've been on the flight for almost four hours talking about Russell and his cousin Blake's adventures in the wild. But as I like to call them, suicide missions. So far they've hiked a dangerous mountain, swam with sharks, tracked down a missing camper from a wolf, and the story he just got done telling me, they hunted a grizzly.

The only thing he hasn't done is try to kill himself. I'm awaiting that story.

"We were close to it, but it's friend showed up and almost chewed off Blake's leg. Funniest thing I ever saw."

"Excuse me, can you two quiet down a notch? Some of the passengers are trying to sleep."

Russell being Russell was on his way to say a smart comment like the last time, but was interrupted by the guy on the intercom telling us we landed.

"Don't look so sad, we will meet again," Russell winked at her and grabbed his bag from the top. 

She glared at him and walked away. 

I stood up as well and grabbed my bag, "Do you have to be so you every time she comes to complain?"

Russell scoffed and started towards the exit with me in tow, "It's my speciality, pop star. Chicks dig the bad boy type. Just ask my wife."

Shaking my head, I stepped off the plane into the hallway.

"Where are you off to, Russell."

"Well my wife and daughter are waiting for me to come back from my trip to Australia."

"How long have you been married?"

"Six years," He smiled proudly and pulled out his phone and showed me a picture of a woman and a little girl, "That's my wife Zoe and my daughter Carlie."

"You have a nice family," I told him but all I could think about is Ayah and I, and how we could be just like them--a happy family.

"They're a gift, man. And now that I'm back home I can finally settle down, you know?"

"A little," I admitted, slowly frowning at the thoughts going through my head.

"Daddy!" Suddenly a little girl came running towards us and threw her arms around a bending Russell.

"Carles," He smiled and hugged her back. Not wanting to intrude on a family moment, I said my goodbyes to Russell and stepped to the side near the benches.

But I couldn't help but watch their family moment and think of the moments Ayah and I could have similar to this one. Call me creepy for staring, but the thoughts are there.

"Makes you wonder, doesn't it?"

Peering over my shoulder, I smiled at my younger brother Wasim who is actually being creepy with the whole sneaking up behind me.

"Yeah. How I'm going to inflict bodily harm on you for your sneakiness."

"Shut up," He shook his head and came forward, swinging his arm around my neck and steering me towards the exit.

Wasim is my sixteen year old half-brother on my fathers side. We grew up about fifteen minutes away, but we always treated each other like the brothers we are. Cue the vomit from that statement.

"So, why am I the only one who knows that you're coming today again?"

I sighed and pulled my bag up on my shoulder.

"Well, you see, it's called a surprise, and when you don't want anyone to get any spoilers, you only tell the occasional someone."

He rolled his eyes and unlocked the car, "No need to be sarcastic, Jafar. It's just that I'm risking having the car out late for the third time this week. 

I checked my watch and raised my eyebrow at him, "It's like eight!"

"Yeah, but father has a rule about having the car for only four hours a day each person."

Now I raised my eyebrow at him, "You had the car since four?"

He got in the car and mumbled for me to get in.

"So what's the plan for the big surprise?"

"I want to see Ayah first," I stated and watched as the cars on the highway went by. There isn't a airport in Riverside, so we have to go at least forty-five minutes to the nearest big City.

"Are you sure you want that? I mean, she hasn't been exactly happy since you didn't tell her about coming."

"Oh," I covered my face with my hands and groaned, "I have realized that I should have told her I was coming back, but I want to surprise her. But I can see now that what I did wasn't a good idea."

"Leaving her or the trip back?"

Glaring at him, I shook my head, "Both," I admitted, "But I wanted to make it up to her with my return, but all I did was make her angrier with me. What should I do?"

"Don't look at me," He scoffed, "I've never been in a messed up situation like yours, bro. But if you want my advice, you can stay at the house and surprise her tomorrow at the fireworks display."

"That's actually not a bad idea," I praised, stroking my imaginary beard, "But I don't know about staying at your house. Abu isn't going to like me running away from my problems."

"Good thing he's out on business for another few weeks."

"Really?"

He nodded, "Yeah. Or you could go and make matters worse by surprising your wife."

I squinted my eyes at him, but I know he's right. Going there tonight won't be the best idea I've had.

"So, what do you say? Have a sleep over with your brother, or get mentally slapped by your wife?"

"Letting out a huff, I folded my arms, "Your house."

"Sleep over it is!"

How is it possible that we're related?

-*-  
This chapter wasn't as entertaining, I know, but InshaAllah the next ones will have more jaw dropping and tummy tickling (had to laugh at that word) action.

Also, banner makers are always welcomed. It doesn't have to be professional, just your best.

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	6. Chapter 6

Edited

Published: July 15, 2015 Wednesday 11:49 p.m

Jafar:

July 4th

"So what's the plan?"

Shrugging at me, Wasim took a bite out of his sandwich and quickly adjusted the steering wheel to ensure he doesn't crash. I knew I should have driven after we left McDonald's, but he insisted because of his limited time with the car. Aunt Fatimah--Wasim's Ummi and my step-mother wasn't at the house this morning. Like a lot of the times when I lived here, she would be helping with the children's Fourth of July games like every year. And since neither Wasim and I wanted to cook after last nights "sleep over"--more like Wasim and I playing video games at various hours of the night and snacking on chips.

And now, after we got our hot and ready breakfast, we're going over to my parents house. They don't know I'm back yet, and as much as I want to suprise them tonight, I know that's not the best idea after all these months. Jamila will try to assault me verbally.

"So, you want to suprise Ayah and not your parents?"

I nodded and took another bite of my sandwich. "I'm not going to treat my parents like that--absolutely disrespectful."

As we neared the street to my old house, Wasim pulled out his second sandwich from the bag. I don't understand how he can eat this much. Like I said, he had chips all night, before we left he ate a pop tart and now he's on his second sandwich. If he wasn't a guy, I would think he was pregnant.

"Did you think about how the suprise is going to go?" He asked through a mouthful of food.

I shook my head. "No, but I want to do something to show how sorry I am for not contacting. But as we all know, Ayah isn't the surprise type."

Wasim laughed and pulled into the driveway. "That is a true statement, my brother."

Wasim and I stepped out the car and gazed at the two story house I called home for twenty-six years. It used to look so nice growing up--white shudders, nice coat of paint, you name it. But as I look at it now, I feel even more guilted. The house looks so run down and lifeless. Given that the only people living here are my parents and my younger sister Jamila--the house lost its touch, and I can't help but feel that I had something to do with that. 

With the money I get for performing and my albums, I could have done more.

"Are you going in?"

I twisted in my stance to see Wasim looking at the house with the same expression as I do: remorse.

"What's happened in the last couple of months?"

"Aunt Zulakha and Uncle Ziyad clean up sometimes, but not since he had surgery for his knee. Nowadays she gardens and he works in the tool shed."

I gave him a strange look to where he held his hands up in defense. "I do have friends who live on this block, y'know? I don't stalk your parents."

"Right," I Rolled my eyes. "I guess it's now or never."

Pushing myself to move towards the door, I let out a deep breath and rang the doorbell.

-*-

Um Jafar placed the crockpot on the correct time before moving to finish making the icing. Today was the day. The day that the town would first have a small festival before doing fireworks later. Everything had to be perfect. After all the town has put into it like every year, everyone was expecting nothing less then tbe best, and she was determined to give them something they wouldn't forget.

She rolled the icing around the spoon for a couple of times before remembering that her husband was indeed still asleep. Smiling to herself, she let down the spoon and made her way into their bedroom, where in fact, he was still asleep.

"Ziyad habibi, we're late," She lightly shook his shoulders and waited a minute until he finally stirred awake.

"Zulaykha, it's early," He whined and she laughed. Sometimes he reminded her of the kids. Since they only have Jamila living at home, it's been so quiet. But she wouldn't trade her grandchildren for anything.

"I know, but we don't want to be late. What kind of people would we be if we let stereotypes beam at the moment when they prove older people to be slower?"

"We would be old people," He mumbled into his pillow and slightly shrugged.

"Well, I'm not going to let us, now get up."

Despite his efforts to stay in bed, he got up nonetheless. There was never a time when he could say no to his wife.

Um Jafar smiled to herself, happy to know that she still has a hold over her husband. After she heard the shower going, she shook her head and made her way towards the kitchen where her youngest child Jamila sat at the table, her face slightly in her cereal. This was normal around the house--no one is a morning person.

Sure they got up for Fajr, but afterwards, they could sleep the afternoon away. Especially in the summer.

"Jamila?" She called and walked around the table to pull the bowl out from under her face. And just Jamila's luck, the whole right side of her face was covered in milk. Um Jafar couldn't resist the opportunity, so she went to her purse to grab her phone, snapping a couple of pictures before Jamila widened her eyes.

"Did I fall asleep?" She groaned and felt her face only to find smeared milk. "Really?!"

"Yes, really," Um Jafar laughed and quickly put her phone away so her daughter wouldn't see, and moved to finish the icing. "You're also late, so get dressed. You volunteered to help Ayah bring the food to the park, remember?"

Jamila groaned and grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl and sauntered to her room.

As Um Jafar tasted some of the icing to make sure it wasn't too thick, the doorbell rang.

"Zulaykha, the door!"

Um Jafar rolled her eyes at her husband and shouted back, "I'll get it."

Laughing to herself, she moved forward towards the door, her mood slightly dropping at the sight of her only son stood in front of her, his head lowered in shame. Thats what he should feel, she thought. Not visiting your wife is one thing, but basically ignoring your parents is a whole different story.

Finally after what felt like a good five minutes of silence, Jafar looked up and pursed his lips lightly at the sight of his mother. Its been so long since he's seen her. Of course he knew that when he came back no one would be waiting with roses and kisses, but a simple hello would be nice. But then again, he couldn't have the decency to say something all those months ago.

Um Jafar cleared her throat. "You're here."

Jafar smiled and opened his arms to emphasize her point. "I am. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you I was coming."

"You should have," She stated and looked behind him to see an awkward looking Wasim rocking on his feet. "Why don't you two come inside."

Um Jafar stepped inside and made a clear way for the young men to step inside.

Jafar smiled and motioned for Wasim to come inside, but he shook his head.

"I have to meet my mother in town, but I can pick you up if you want?"

"I'll find a way to town," Jafar assured him, fist bumping him and coming inside to sit on the couch. Just like the outside, the inside of the house looked the same. The living room is a dark maroon color, the couch and love seat a cream color, and the carpet a black and maroon mixture.

"Are you hungry, Jafar? I didn't make breakfast today, but I can throw something together."

"La shukran," He smiled at her and stood up to walk in the kitchen. "How have you been, Ummi?"

She sighed and took the covering off of the cake and started to ice it.

"Allah has been kind with my health. I have however wondered how my son has been getting along in California."

Jafar nodded, bracing himself for what is to come. And sure enough, I'm Jafar prepared to admonish him.

"You don't know how it feels as a mother to not know what the status of your child is," She wiped a year from her eye, her voice breaking. "You went MIA for a while. You had us worried to the point that I was a step away from visiting you if Ziyad didn't stop me."

"I know," He came forward and opened his arms to engulf his mother in a hug. She seemed to relax and wrap her ants tightly around him. "I feel horrible about what I did. As much as I hate to admit it, I let the fame and fortune overcome me. I feel ashamed."

She wiped away a tear. "You should."

"I second that."

Jafar turned his head slightly and smiled as his younger sister appeared by the kitchen door with her arms crossed.

"I was actually happy that my big brother would be famous, but the most I hear from you is some teenage girl in my class screaming about a song you sang. That really hurt, bro."

"Mills, I know and I'm sorry."

"You better be sorry," She scoffed and came to join them in a group hug. "Don't ever do that again, especially to Ayah. Have you seen her?"

Jafar shook his head, and Um Jafar backed away from the hug to glare at him again. It seemed like that was all people were doing when they noticed him.

"You should go see her."

"I'm not so sure she wants to see me," He grumbled sadly.

Jamila hit his arm playfully.

"Quit the act! You and the world know that she wants to see you. It doesn't matter if you withheld information--she loves you. And...," Jamila patted the backpack on her back. "I was just about to go there, so come on."

Without protest, Jamila grabbed Jafar's arm and dragged him along behind her.

-*-

Jafar stood outside of Ayah's house fidgeting with the flowers he picked up along the way much to Jamila's yelling. She basically threatened him bodily harm if they didn't get any.

"If you don't stop shaking the neighbors are going to think you're seizing."

"I can't help it," He mumbled and reluctantly let go of his sleeve. Jamila rolled her eyes as the door opened revealing Ayah's mother. 

She squinted a couple of times, trying to make sure who she is seeing in actually him.

"Salaam, Um Ayah."

She smiled slightly and nodded. Even with the problems her daughter and Jafar have been having, she is still happy that he is back, but slightly furious that he decided to come and not tell her daughter.

"Wa Alaikim Salam. When did you get back?"

"Last night."He smiled, "Is Ayah awake?"

"She not here," Um Ayah frowned and pursed her lips, "I don't know where she goes but she should be back within the hour."

A long silence went by, Jamila spoke to avoid anymore awkwardness.

"How about I help you inside and Jafar goes to find her?" Jamila piped in, smiling widely, "Ayah wanted me to help with the cookies anyways."

"Very well," Um Ayah let Jamila in and turned to Jafar. "She's not doing well, Jafar. Her heart isn't sure what she wants right now so go easy on her. This last year has been tough."

Jafar nodded knowing that what she said was his fault, and turned to walk towards the woods where he knew his wife would be when she needed to be alone. But unlike his thoughts, he was wrong. She was nowhere in sight.

-*-  
The Eid is coming up in a few days, MashaAllah! I can't wait!!!

I want to update on the Eid as your present, but I have to be inspired by something. Lately I feel like I haven't been. But inshaAllah I can update, but if not, Happy Early Eid Mubarak to all of you.

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	7. Chapter 7

Edited:

Published: July 17 2015 Friday 12:19 a.m 

I know a lot of people's Eid have started already, and although mine hasn't yet, I wanted to give you guys the best gift I can.

EID MUBARAK!!!!!!

Ayah:

July 4th

"Thank you so much for coming," Carmyn smiled at me as she carried a tray of food to one of the diner booths. Everyone is in a rush to have everything out by eleven, which only gives them about an hour and a half. This morning hasn't been the best for me. After last nights soda binge, I felt utterly sick to my stomach from all the caffeine. Yes, I had to be the unlucky person who gets sick sometimes from caffeine.

On top of other things, I had to bake the last tray of cookies to take to the park, but I couldn't do anything without getting fresh air. It was like I needed to get out of the house this morning. I felt suffocated in there, so I went to the lake. I was there for a good hour before Camryn called for help with the diner. Debby went to pick up an emergency shipment of supplies, the chef was already granted time off for his family, and Dianne has had a slight cold as of last night. The whole diner has been left in the hands of Camryn. She can run it as good as Dianne, don't get me wrong, but today seems so much more hectic.

"I wouldn't have called if it wasn't an emergency, but I really need help. I thought I could do it as good as mom--flawless, but I was wrong."

"Okay," I nodded and started to send a text to Jamila telling her that I would meet her at the park in a few hours, to which she replies saying that she will help Mama in my place.

"What did you need help with?"

Camryn pointed to the kitchen. "The sandwiches need to be decorated and cut, the portable soda machine is to go to the center of town and I have to pay the lighting bill or the diner will have a blackout. And--"

"Calm down," I stressed and placed my hands on her shoulder to steady her breathing. "We can do all that in plenty of time, but since the electric company is closed for the holiday, just take it to the managers house. Leave the food up to me and hurry back."

"Thank you so much, Ayah," Camryn exhaled in relief and hugged me before dissapearing out of the door. As soon as she left, I put my phone down and moved to the kitchen. How hard can sandwiches be?

-*-

Jamila:

"Here's the last of 'em," I announced to Aunt Amaya and placed the hot cookies on the counter. Now I wouldn't go as far to say that I belong in the kitchen, but those cookies look magnificent. How I managed to not burn down Ayah's house is a miracle. 

"They smell wonderful," Aunt Amaya smiled from where she stood over the cookies to take a whiff. "And they don't look stale like you said they would."

I smiled sheepishly and grabbed the dirty pans to put in the sink. "I don't exactly cook at home, Ummi is overprotective of her kitchen."

"Don't you want to get married?" She asked me making me blush.

I shook my head and hid under her deep gaze.

"How come?"

"I'm only seventeen," I chuckled and began to scrub some of the last bits of the dough off. "I want to at least start college before I take the next step."

"I understand. I was prepared to marry at eighteen, but I didn't get so lucky until I was twenty-five."

I turned on the hot water and scrunched my eyebrows in confusion. "How so?"

I looked up from the water to see she was slightly tearing up, but with a smile. 

"You don't have to tell me," I protested and gave her a reassuring smile. It looked like it was too painful to talk about.

"I wasn't blessed with my husband until I thought no one would come. But to tell you the truth, I didn't like him at first. He didn't seem like my type."

"Sounds like a love story," I told her.

Aunt Amaya has always felt like a second mother to me growing up. Granted I am nine years younger than Ayah, but I always came over here with my older sister Tehreem. She's a few years older than Ayah. I like to think Ayah was my favorite growing up, no offense to my sisters, but we clicked on many things. Tehreem and my other older sister Zahrah did more together.

But after all the growing up, Ayah is the only one in town. Zahra moved to Alaska a couple of years ago, and Tehreem lives two hours away with her husband Noor.

"Jamila," Aunt Amaya waved in front of my face, trying to get my attention. "Your phone buzzed."

"Thanks."

I rinsed my hands off under the water and went to retrieve my phone.

Im like the worst hostess in the world, but Camryn had an emergency she needed help with. Could you bring the cookies without me?-Ayah

If she's at the diner, then that means Jafar didn't get to suprise her like he wanted. They're always bound to miss each other.

Sure thing. When will you be done?-Jamila

Almost instantly, she replied.

There are a lot of things that need to be done. I should be there in a couple of hours- Ayah

Pursing my lips, I put my phone away and stalked over to where Aunt Amaya was sat at her sewing table fixing a pattern.

"Aunt Amaya, I was going to see what's taking Jafar so long. Ayah said she's helping Camryn with the Diner."

"That's where she is," She frowned and turned off the machine. "Okay. Will you be back to help with the cookies."

I nodded. "Yes. I'll get Jafar to help too."

She smiled sweetly and turned the machine back on. "You're the best."

-*-

Now where would he have gone? Riverside is only so big, and if Ayah hasn't seen him yet, I doubt he will show himself to anyone else. The woods are basically calling my name to go in. I've never been a woodsy girl. I prefer the beach and places that I'm visible to the public.

But it's for both of your siblings, I thought. I hate when my conscience is right. I just have to follow it. Letting out a frustrated groan, I turned towards the woods. I need some type of food after this, preferably a cookie.

All around me it looked like a forest. Its dark with different types of noises. I don't even know a squirrel from a bird--I'm such a big help. After dodging several bushes, I came across the sound of water. I hope it's some type of civilization. If not, I'm screwed. But as I peered closer to the lake in front of me, I see none other than my brother looking like a lost puppy underneath a big tree. He's just sitting there, hands on his knees and staring at the water.

For a couple that's basically perfect, they have enough drama to start a soap opera. I would have to direct them though, because they would be to busy ignoring each other to pay attention. With a determined stance, I started towards Jafar, a single hand on my hip. As my shadow stood over him, he opened his eyes and looked at me in Confusion.

"Ayah?"

Did he fall asleep?

Sighing, I shook my head,. "Afraid not. I'm your conscience for today, and my first task is for you to stop feeling sorry for yourself!"

"She's not here," He groaned and held his face in his hands. "I was so sure she would be here, but she isn't. This is our spot."

"You sound like a cheesy rom com," I glared and slapped his hands away only to be glared at. "She isn't here because she had to help someone with something. But I've been thinking..." I trailed off and waitedto see what his reaction would be after those words.

He raised an eyebrow. "And what were you thinking?"

"That you don't care if she doesn't think she likes suprises--she going to like yours, and I'm going to help."

For once Jafar looked at me hopefully.

"You will?"

"Yes," I smiled. "We are going to show her that even though you were gone for far too long," He glared at me, I shrugged. It's his fault he can't take the truth. "You haven't stopped thinking of her, so come on."

BI stood up and reachedmy hand out to pull him up. Jafar laughed at my struggling state and grabbed my hand and pulled most of his weight up. Lets face it, the only thing I'm strong at is my sarcasm.

"Whats your plan?" He swung an arm around my shoulder and steered us in the direction of Ayah's house. Good, because I have no idea where we are going.

"First we're taking the cookies to the park then we talk business."

-*-

"Take these," I said and handed Jafar a bouquet of flowers. He's stood behind their tree aparently, decked out in a navy dress shirt and black slacks. I added the red roses to go with the Fourth of July theme. I couldn't have him surprise her in sweats and a jumper.

It took us almost two hours, but I finally got him ready. Its now six o'clock and everyone is finishing up the lunch. There were complications with the food and fireworks, so everyone stayed at the park and played the games, but we're getting everything back on track.

"How is this going to work?" He mumbled in annoyance as he tried to stop me from adding my finishing touches. I slapped his hand away from messing up his hair and backed up to admire my work. "Jamila!"

"Relax," I rolled my eyes and took out my phone to take a picture. "Camryn said that their taking the pans back to the Diner--she'll be here."

"I hope you're right," Jafar sighed and adjusted the roses in his hands. He's very shaky lately. "When are you suppose to bring her here?"

"As soon as I can get her ready," He sighed in frustration, forcing me to glare icily at him. "If she can wait ten months, you can wait ten minutes."

Sending a reassuring smile to my brother, I jogged out of the woods towards Ayah's house. Thats another good thing about her living close to town, it's maybe a three minute walk. But I still have to have her looking presentable. Luckily I have all hands on deck. Ummi and Abi have kept the secret of Jafar's arrival a secret, but they look like a balloon ready to pop. Also, Aunt Amaya already has Ayah's clothes ironed and ready for her. Everyone is anticipating something big, all thanks to me.

"Ayah," I called to her and walkedup to give her a hug Whuch she awkwardly returened. She looks terrible. Her hijab is every which way, her clothes look sweaty and she looks exhausted.

"Jamila, I thought you were at the picnic," She frowned. We started to walk back towards her house.

"I was, but I wanted to make sure that you were ready."

"Um, thanks," She replied skeptically. Oh, if only she knew.

As we entered the house, Aunt Amaya was stood in front of the table looking natural.

"Ayah, you need to hurry."

"Why?" Ayah asked confused.

"Because we need to be there early for the entertainment, now go!"

Too tired to argue with us, she obeyed.

-*-

"Took you long enough," I grumbled and sat her at her dresser and started to blow dry her hair. The only bright side is that her hair dries fast. It should only take a couple of minutes.

Ignoring me, she started to put kohl on.

"Why aren't you getting pretty? I know a few guys who are smitten with you," She teased.

"No one says smitten," I declared while I did the second part of her hair. I so envy her hair. It's very curly and black, but not a thick curly. 

"Don't change the subject, Jamie. You have to like someone."

"I guess," I shrugged and pulled her hair into a tight ponytail to where she glared at me. Today is about you, not me. "You don't want it to come undone, now get dressed."

"Why are you being so take charge today?"

"Because I want you to look pretty."

I don't feel pretty," She grumbled. "I feel exhausted."

"Shake it off and get ready. We have places to be, people to see."

"Like who?" She whispered, wiggling her eyebrows.

I glared at her. "Just get ready."

After what seemed like an hour, but was really ten minutes, Ayah emerged from her room in a light blue and white Abaya, complementing her skin tone.

"You look beautiful, but we're late."

Ayah rolled her eyes and grabbed her purse, "Places to be, people to see, right?"

"Right," I smiled, sharing a look with Aunt Amaya, which Ayah missed because she was adjusting her suit.

Here we go.

-*-

After a while of getting ready, they were all off to go enjoy the festivities. Um Ayah already knowing what's going to happen made up an excuse about going to help a friend and left early, while Jamila stayed near Ayah, walking towards the woods with a smile. Ayah wasconfused as to why they were going to the woods and stopped to question Jamila every so often, much to Jamila's dismay.

"Why this way?" She's at it again, Jamila thought.

"I found a shortcut the other day," Jamila lied and looped her arm with Ayah's. As much as she hated lying, there was no other way Ayah would go.

"Why not take the sidewalk to ensure our Abayas don't rip?"

"Because I like this way. Plus I found a sight that you're going to love."

Ayah pursed her lips but didn't stop walking.

"If it's a lake, I already saw it."

"It's not," Jamila assured her. "It's not like any other you've seen before. But to ensure you will be awed, close your eyes."

Ayah was prepared to argue, but seeing Jamila's glare, she kept her mouth shut.

As they neared the lake, Jafar peaked from around the tree, only to have his breath taken away. She is even prettier than the last time he saw her. This whole ordeal seemed like a dream to him. Even though she made him wait an hour, he couldn't complain at the sight before him. Afterall, he did make her wait ten months, and she has no clue as to what's going on.

"Are we almost there?"

Jafar was now smiling widely, happy to hear her voice in person again. Yet, strangely, her voice soothed him.

"Can I open my eyes?"

"No,"He held in a laugh at the irratation in his sisters voice.

As they neared closer, Jafar came from around the tree, flowers in hand. Luckily there wasn't anything but grass that would give away his appearance.

"Now?"

Jamila nodded at Jafar and went to stand by a tree.

"Jamila, now?"

Jafar moved closer, only a few feet away from her and smiled. Jamila mouthed to him to tell her already. She was crouched by a bush with her phone and camera. No doubt the position is very uncomfortable.

He stepped another step closer and breathed, "Now." 

And as she froze at her spot, eyes still closed, you could hear the clicking of cameras.

"Ayah, open your eyes, habibti."

She shook her head, tears springing in her eyes.

"If I do that it could all be a dream."

"It's not," He assured her. "Please, open your beautiful eyes."

Slowly, she lifted her eyelids to the one person she missed the most and froze. Completely and utterly speechless.

-*-

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	8. Chapter 8

Edited 

Published: Sunday July 19 2015 7:35 p.m

Ayah:

July 4th

I don't know what to say or do. Here I am standing in front of my husband who I haven't seen in ten months and I don't know what to say. I know I'm happy, but I'm also angry about the fact that he never told me of his arrival. I always thought that when he would come back I would have a whole dinner set up, decorations everywhere to welcome him home. But no. He decided to surprise me yet again but only thinking of himself. 

Yes the suprising part was thoughtful of him, but that's not what I wanted. I don't want to be suprsied! I want to know that he's coming before he's here. No one gets it. I guess they thought that I would want something romantic for when he came back--something like this. But I don't. I wanted him all along, but those butterflies I always hear about haven't come; the ones that make you realize how deeply in love you are with that person. But the truth is that we aren't the same anymore. 

He doesn't even know me anymore. I don't know how many times I tell people I don't like suprises, but they don't listen. From the start, our whole relationship had been conceived on suprises. Granted I liked some of them a while ago, but I was younger and watched too many sappy romantic movies. I like to think I've grown up since then, which is why I'm not going to take the easy route and run away.

I've been doing that for far too long. I'm not going to act like the happiest girl in the world, because I'm not. I'm going to take the high road and act like an adult.

"When did you get back?" I asked, showing just enough emotion for him not to question my calmness.

Jafar's smile faltered as he cleared his voice, no doubt disappointed that I didn't welcome him with open arms.

"Uh, I got back last night. How've you been, Ayah?"

I shrugged and tried keeping my half-smile on my face. "I've been fine. You?"

"Can you guys ask real heart to heart questions before I cramp up?"

We stopped our sad excuse of a conversation to glare at Jamila, she rolled her eyes and stood up.

"Fine, fine, I'm going. But remember I have videos to confirm you were both tedious during your reunion."

"Jamila!"

"I'm going, Jafar. And give her the flowers before they die of boredom."

As soon as she left, I turned back to Jafar, smiling slightly.

"She's something," I commented.

Jafar smiled at my slightly happy mood and moved forward with the flowers.

"These are for you, obviously."

Chuckling lightly, I took the flowers from his hand and smiled. Red roses. These are the flowers he gave me on our wedding night.

"Do you like them?" He asked hopefully and rocked back and fourth. I nodded and lifted them up to sniff. "Suprisingly Jamila picked them out. She said you'll like them."

My mood faltered as I stared at him. I guess it was wishful thinking to assume he got them because he remembered what flowers he gave me over a year ago.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was coming. I wanted to suprise you--"

"I hate suprises," I stated, looking anywhere than at him. "I've hated them all my life."

"I wanted to do something special," He replied softly. "Even if it meant you didn't like it, I hoped to change your mind."

As I looked up to see the guilty expression on his face, I sighed.

"I know you did, but that doesn't change how I feel, nor will it mean things will go back to normal."

He scrunched him eyebrows in confusion. "What do you mean?"

I don't want to be mean to him, but it doesn't change how I feel. I can't just let him come back and act like everything is normal and then he leaves again. I just can't...

"I mean that we can't go back to the way we were before you left. It can't happen."

"Ayah, you're my wife," He stated, and I looked at him in disbelief.

"If that's true, where were you the last ten months, because it sure didn't feel like we were anything but distant friends. Don't pull that card."

Jafar came a few steps forward with determination written across his features.

"Ayah, I wanted to come back, I did, but I couldn't. I had to prove that I could live the dream when everyone thought I would fail. I had to prove that I didn't leave you for nothing."

"That may be true, but I can't. I can't be the same Ayah that you left behind. I won't be Jafar!"

I turned around to walk away when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I stiffened and took a deep breath to calm down before I faced him.

"Ayah..."

"No," I shook my head, my voice cracking slightly. "Just let me go. I need some time."

"How much time?" he questioned, hesitantly taking his hand off my shoulder.

"I don't know," I answered. "But right now I need to go. So please..."

Jafar nodded and let me walk away. I didn't want to do that, it hurt too much. It felt like my heart was aching just to walk away from him. Afterall, I still love him. But I know it's the right thing to do. If I don't do this now, I will forever be hurting.

-*-  
July 6th

Two days. I've been basically dead to the world for two days, staying inside my room watching sad movies like Dear John and Romeo and Juliet. I would watch Titanic but I don't exactly like that movie. 

I've got chips to my right, soda to my left and ice cream in the middle. And it just so happens that I don't need to make salaat, so I can stay in my room all day, with the occasional potty break of course. So many people have tried to come and talk to me, but I won't budge. Even Jamila came in to cheer me up by saying I look like I got dumped by Mr. Popular. If we weren't really close, she would have been gone as soon as she said that. But Jamila and I are sisters, even though the person connecting us is banned from seeing me, courtesy of his older sister Tehreem. She came in the night of the Fourth for a visit, and when she heard what Jafar did, she was equally upset.

But that doesn't mean she agrees about me splurging on sweets. But I'm stressed. After all desserts is stressed backwards. I snorted. Yeah, I'm definitely being the adult.

"Ayah, I know you're upset, but you have to get over this and deal with your problems. Yes, Jafar suprised you--his wife when he got back, and you fault him for trying to make it up to you. I'm upset about the young mans decisions to leave for a year, but act like a woman and tell him. Don't use the speech about needing space. All you need is each other."

"It's hard to welcome someone who made you go through so much pain with open arms."

Mama sighed and came to my bed to sit next to me. She wrapped her arms around me and beganrocking me as I felt sorry for myself on her shoulder.

"I'm only doing this once for you because you need to be strong. I didn't raise my daughter to let the simple things get her down."

"Thanks," I said bitterly and she laughed.

"This is me caring, Ayah. If I cradle you all of your life, you're going to do nothing but run from your problems."

"I understand," I assured her and lifted my head up off her shoulder. "I will clean up later, but right now I need to sulk."

"One more day, okay?" She questioned, looking at me pointedly.

"One more day until I get up and take a shower, but not for addressing Jafar. I need more time."

"Okay," Mama nodded in understanding, "Just remember to follow your heart."

I'll try my best.

-*-

Jafar:

"Please, Jamila? If she won't talk to me, she'll talk to you."

It's been two days and no one is telling me crap. It's always the same thing with Ayah wanting time, but I didn't think she would end up going MIA for two days. And the thought of me causing this is making me even more upset. All I wanted to do was show her how much she means to me, but the whole leaving her for ten months doesn't help. Not to mention when I talked to Jamila about her whole mood changes, she filled me in on all the things I did wrong. 

How could I be so stupid as to forget the meaning of the red roses?! Yes Jamila picked them out, but that's because I asked her to get them because of the sentimental value. Maybe I should have explained that.

"I'm mad at you, you know?" She stated giving me one of her death glares.

I nodded from where I sat across from her on her desk chair.

She raised an eyebrow. "So why should I help you?"

"Because you love me?" I tried but she just smirked. "Fine. Because you love..." I trailed off not wanting to say it.

Jamila knowing that I was struggling with it smiled.

"Oh, come on! If you want my help, say it."

"You love Jayah! Because you love Jayah, will you help me?"

"Yes," She nodded, smiling in amusement. "Since you finally realized that the whole Muslim world ships you, I will help."

"How does the whole Muslim world know that I'm married? Allen kept that a secret."

"As if I care what he thinks," Jamila scoffed. "I have a blog that is catered towards Jayah. Your fans know."

"You're devious," I glared and she smirked. 

"I've been trying to tell you this for years."

-*-  
July 9th

"You cheated," Wasim whined and began sulking on the couch.

I laughed. "Even If I wanted to, how do you cheat at Mariokarts?"

"You just do," He grumbled, but perked up at the sound of his phone. As he read the notification, he grumbled.

"What's up with you?"

"It's just Abu," He clarified and began hitting the buttons harder that usual.

"Is it bad?"

"He's just telling me about the latest and greatest colleges that could possibly offer me a full ride."

That does sound like our father. When I was a little older than Wasim, he tried to get me a full ride to play basketball many times which I refused. It was just a game to me. Sure I could play it better than most, but that's not the profession I wanted to live off of. Being a musician wasn't what he wanted me to do. It's been downhill from there.

"I know what you mean," I mumbled and dodged a banana peel. I hate those things!

"I like football and all, but I want to own my own company or something like that. What if I got hurt? Who would be paying the price then?"

"Yeah, I know what you mean, but don't choke under pressure, okay?"

"What's with the heart to heart?" Wasim laughed. "I'm sixteen, remember? I'm at the age where all we do is go through pressure."

"Yeah, but I was in your shoes not too long ago." I reminded him. "Just don't do anything stupid."

"Well," Wasim sighed. "No promises."

-*-

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	9. Chapter 9

Edited 

Published: Tuesday July 21, 2015 2:27 a.m

Jafar:

July 12th

This is it. It all comes down to the last few seconds of the game. I'm staring at my competition, squinting lightly so I won't lose. I can't lose. 

My opponent smiled at me, all the while showing off her adorable little dimples. She knows I can't resist the adorable smile. 

"Give up now," I smirked and eying up my opponent. She shook her head, her bouncy curls falling in her face.

"We've been at this for like ten minutes!"

"It's been like thirty seconds. She's not going to give up," Amna smiled from where she stood over us. 

"One can hope," I tilted my head and stared directly into her eyes. I don't know how it's possible for someone like her to not blink for this long.

"Uncle Jafar, just give up! She's a pro at this game."

"I am," She smiled and propped her hands under her cheeks. "Do you wanna quit."

"No," I glared and straightened up my stance.

"Jafar, I was wondering if you could..." Tehreem trailed off, raising an am sided eyebrow at the sight in front of her. "What are you doing?"

"About to lose," Amna smirked at her Ummi and continued eyeing Mina and I back and fourth.

"Well I need you to do something."

I turned my head to look at my sister and Mina gasped and pointing an accusing finger at me. "You blinked!"

"I moved my head!" I defended standing up only to have something waved in front on my face so I would blink. I glared at my ten year old nephew Zakariah.

He shrugged. "You were going to lose anyway."

"I would have won if you hadn't done that. Now I lost to a six year old!"

"Jafar," Tehreem lightly hit my arm. I turned to her. "I need you to take the kids out while I clean around the house."

"Why can't they stay here?" I asked and she rolled her eyes with a glare. 

"I do my best work without distractions, now go!"

"Fine," I grumbled and turned to face three pairs of eyes on me. "Who wants to go to the park?"

"I'm thirteen," Amna commented, pursing her lips. "The arcade sounds better."

"Yeah!" Zak chimed in.

Sighing, I nodded. Something tells me I'm going to regret this.

-*-

Ayah:

"So, what do you think?"

I stood in front of Mama, swaying back and fourth in my Abaya. There's nothing extraordinary about it. It's just the fact that I got up and took control of my life again. I could only last so long in bed before I convinced myself that I was lazy. This morning I figured that a week was enough.

"You look much better," Mama nodded in approval, then walked towards me with a plastic bag of money.

"What's this for?"

"I need you to pick up a list of groceries. We seem to be bare in the pantry."

"Okay," I nodded and took a quick look at the list. It doesn't seem like I need the car.

"Also, Dianne has something for you."

I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion and moved to slip my converse on.

"What is it?"

Mama shrugged. "I don't know. I guess you have to go and find out."

"Okay," I went to give her a quick hug. "Salaam!"

-*-

When I first saw the list I thought I wasn't going to need the car. There were only about ten small items to get and a few big things such as a medium sized thing of paper towel. But as I stand here in front of the impatient young woman at the counter going over all the items I picked up because they looked delicious, I can't choose what to put back. The cart is literally halfway full and I walked here! I really should start driving more often.

"Ma'am, are you going to buy something?" The girl asked impatiently . She isn't even looking in my direction. She's too busy examining her fingernails. 

I nodded my head and began scrunching my eyebrows in confusion. I'm the only one in the store. Surely I can have an extra minute to think.

"Ma'am?"

"I am buying something," I snapped and started putting the items onto the counter. I can't put anything back. I guess I will have to walk, but hey, I will build muscles. And arm burns from the bags, my mind reminded me. But how can anyone have the heart to put back such snacks.

"45.67."

As I reached for my wallet, the ding of the door sounded, and Tehreem's kids came in.

"Please can I get some candy?" Mina whined as she began pulling on her sisters sleeve.

Amna glared at her and pulled her sleeve back. "You know Ummi said no. Stop asking!"

"Aunt Ayah," Zakariah waved and started walking over from where he watched his sisters argue. At the sound of my name, they all came over to greet me, further irritating the cashier.

"We haven't seen you in so long," Amna beamed and pulled me into a hug. It's been a while since I saw them on the Eid a couple of months back.

"I know," I smiled and handed the money to Heidi, the cashier. For a small town, I don't remember seeing her around before.

"What have you guys been up to?"

"We just came back from the arcade," Zak said from where he grabbed something to drink from the refrigerator. "Do you think he will let me get soda?"

"Yes," Amna frowned. "But as soon as Ummi knows that you got it, she will be furious!"

Zak grumbles something under his breath, but put it back nonetheless. "Lemonade it is."

"Who brought you guys here?" I grabbed my many bags and balanced them half and half on my arms.

"Uncle Jafar," Amna said nonchalantly and placed a few snacks on the counter for Heidi to scan. "We were in Ummi's way, so he brought us out for some fun."

That means he must be outside. I know Jafar. But I'm surprised he didn't come inside. Tehreem made it a rule that whoever goes anywhere with her kids that they have to follow them like shadows.

"That's nice," I whispered, but inside I am freaking out. Yeah I was able to come out today, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to see him. 

"I think he's trying to get the 411 on you from Aunt Jamila, but she's not budging. Something about girl code."

He's checking up on me? What happened to space? Then again, he didn't come to the house since that day.

"That sounds like her," I laughed it off and kept my eye on the door. "Well I have to get going. I'll see you later?"

"Yeah," She nodded, but her head was trained on her phone screen.

As I excited the store, I tried to hide myself from anyone, but that's kind of hard to do when you're wearing bright colors and have your body weight in bags hanging on your arms. But nonetheless, I managed to make it across the street towards the Diner before I heard my name. So close...

"Ayah, wait up!"

Turning around, I saw Jafar run up to me with a determined look on his face. I'm not going to lie, he looks nice today, but then again, he always did. I did fall in love with his looks when we first got married, but as I got to know him, his attitude outweighed what was on the outside. Slightly...

"Hey," He grinned with his hands stuffed into his cargo pockets. He always did that...

I returned the grin. "Hi."

"I know you said you wanted space, but I couldn't help myself but to talk to you," He explained, a guilty expression coating his features. "And I wanted to apologize."

"It's fine," I assured him and not so descreetly adjusted the bags on my arms.

Jafar saw me struggling and came closer. "Let me help you."

I quickly declined. "It's fine I--"

"Ayah," He warned and grabbed the bags from me and carried them with ease. "Let me give you a ride."

"No," I declined again. "I was going to the Diner anyways."

"I'll take you home after we make a stop at the diner. I wanted to see Dianne anyways."

"Jafar, I told you that we can't go back to normal."

"I know that," He said with a pained expression. "But acting civilized to each other is still an option."

"Yeah, but—"

"Please, Ayah. I just want us to at least talk, with the occasional smile."

To emphasize his point, he smiled at me, dimples showing. I huffed in annoyance. He knows I can't resist his smile. He looks too much like his neice. 

Reluctantly I nodded. "Okay."

-*-

"Amna, I'm serious. Don't let her out of your sight!"

"I won't," Amna said and squeezing Mina's hand to put her point across. "I will watch them both, you can count on me."

As soon as we watched them walk inside the arcade again, Jafar and I walked side by side to the Diner, keeping an appropriate distance between us. I know we don't have to, but it doesn't feel right to walk close to each other. But out of the cornor of my eye, I can see he's not okay with the distance.

"How long are you here for?" I finally asked once we were a couple of doors down.

From the cornor of my eye, again, I could see Jafar smile in happiness because I started the conversation.

"For as long as I want right now. I needed to come back."

As he said the last part, he glanced at me for a reaction, but I kept my expression neutral. Its not like he will be here long. Knowing Allen, he'll probably have gigs booked for him by next week.

"Ayah, I'm sorry, okay? I knew that you didn't like surprises, yet I suprised you. I knew you didn't want me to leave, yet I left you. And I know you want space, but I can't stay away. Your silence is killing me."

I stopped walking to turn and purse my lips at Jafar.

"Ayah," He came about a foot away from me. "I couldn't stand leaving you for another day, so I came back. All I wanted and still want is to see is your smile, hear your laugh and know that I caused that reaction out of you."

"Jafar," My voice cracked as I stared into his eyes. Eyes that held so much emotion.

"I don't expect you to come running to me, even though I wouldn't be complaining, but I do want a chance to make things better."

"I don't have a problem with that," I replied but I didn't meet his eyes. "I just need to know that you're here and won't leave me again. I can't take it."

"I don't want to do that. Even if it means losing my career, so be it. I can't do what I did to you for ten months again."

"I don't want you to give up your dream because of what happened. I understand that you wanted to prove that you could shine, I do. The heartache though..."

"I feel very bad about that, y'know? Which is why I want--no, I will make it up to you if you'll let me."

"What if I don't?" I teased making him smirk.

"I will make it up to you anyway."

-*-

After dropping the kids off at Jafar's house, he drove me home and helped me with the groceries. Our little heart to heart really helped with our relationship and showed us where we stood with each other. We both agreed to take things slow with each other before making any real decisions. We also decided not to think about his time running out, because it's not. The most his extended stay can do is knock his career down a notch, but he keeps stressing that he doesn't care as long as he's here.

I do and I don't want him to think like that. If he gave it all up now, that would mean all his hard work would be for nothing. I can't let that happen. As much as I hated his absence, I was also proud of him. He was finally living his dream. He put his mind to it and got it done. Throwing it all away wouldn't make sense.

"Where should I put these?

"In the cupboards," I told him pointing up top. Mama left a note saying that she was going to visit one of her friends for a couple of hours, so Jafar and I are alone.

"That's the last of it," Jafar grabbed the plastic bags and balled them into a big plastic ball. "Do you still keep the bags?"

Looking up from the note, I smiled. "You remembered?"

"Of course I did. In this bin right?"

"Yeah."

After Jafar finished putting everything away, he sighed.

"I guess it's time for me to go, or I could stay..."

"Too soon," I said and walked towards the door with Jafar behind me.

"What about tomorrow? Do you want to go out somewhere?"

"Like?"

"Well," He put his index finger and thumb on his chin to act like he was thinking,m. "I don't know, but I'll text you. I know how much you don't like talking on the phone."

"It gets awkward," I shrugged. "But yeah, we can do something."

As he was walking down the steps, he stopped halfway to come back up to me.

"I know we're taking things slow, and I know you won't like what I'm about to do, but I've been wanting to do this since I got back."

"Wait, what do you mea--"

I didn't even get to finish my sentence before he kissed me, then stepped back to smirk at my stunned reaction before jogging to his car.

He was right, I wasn't expecting that. Kissing me on the cheek is the last thing I thought he would do.

-*-

Do you guys want to know what Ayah and Jafar look like, or are you good with suspense?

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	10. Chapter 10

Edited

Published: Thursday July 23 2015 8:23 p.m

Jafar:

July 13th

"Batting? You want to take her to a place with those sticks and throwing machines?"

"What's wrong with that?"

Jamila huffed and placed the floor, I could feel the glaring daggers directed at me.

"Taking your wife somewhere to hit things isn't classified as romantic."

"As long as she's not hitting me, I'm fine."

I do admit when I came up with the idea last night it sounded bizarre and different, but it's a good way to relieve stress. Plus, Ayah used to play little league.

"Jafar, when you asked me to help, I thought romantic dinners, midnight walks, stuff like that. But never would I think murdering a ball would get her to shout 'forgive me.'"

I sighed and walked over to the counter to grab my phone. I know she's right, but I want us to do something fun. And it just so happens both of us like baseball. Before I start with any of the romantic stuff, I want us to have fun.

"I know you did, and I appreciate it, but can we think of that stuff once we're past the awkward stage?"

"Fine, but--"

"No buts," I smiled and placed my hnds on her shoulders. "I made up my mind."

"Well, you better not mess it up."

"I'll try my best not to."

-*-

Ayah:

Bring your batting gloves, I'll be over in an hour-Jafar

Batting? He's taking me batting for our first date?

Wow, that's the first time I referred to today as a 'date.' It's weird really. With all the movies I watch, the books I read, I never imagined myself doing something close to a first date. I've always pictured me and my husband--I didn't know I was going to marry Jafar at the time--remaking all the cheesy scenes. I even imagined him having a motorcycle, but unlike the girls who always call them 'death machines,' I would embrace the opportunity to enjoy the wind blowing through my hijab. It's amazing what a twelve year old could think.

"Mama, can I talk to you?"

Mama looked up from her book, nodding and motioning for me to sit down next to her on the bed. 

"What can I do for you?"

"It's Jafar," I sighed. Mama looked up at me and smirked slightly.

I thought so. Did something happen?"

"No," I shook my head. "We're suppose to go out today--batting?"

"Batting?" She smiled. "That sounds...different. But a good different."

"It is, but am I letting him off too easily? Am I moving too fast with forgiving him, or should I just relax and let nature take its course?"

"It's all about following your heart. If you feel he deserves a second chance, and if you love him enough to give him that chance then go for it. Don't do it because you feel bad or you're pressured."

Despite everything's that's happened, I do love him. I do want to forgive him. I also want to know where this leads.

-*-

As Jafar said in the text, he came an hour later and picked me up for our 'date.' He even came and opened the door for me. Is my fantasy coming true or what? The car ride there was silent, but a comfortable one. We just sat and listened to Maher Zain's faint voice throughout the car, and the song just so happens to be 'For the rest of my life.'

Okay, I admit the car got a little awkward after that. As we passed by the outskirts of town, we could see a carnival being set up. 

Tehreem would love to take the kids there." Jafar spoke, occasionally glancing at me and not at the road. "Maybe we could take them sometime?"

I looked up at him to see a hopeful expression on his face, but it was replaced with a frown at my silence.

"Maybe," I whispered and turned to look out the window. It's not that I don't want to take the kids out with him, it's more of having to know how today goes before I agree to anything. What if today goes horrible? What if I get hurt swinging the bat, or I end up hurting him with the bat? There are so many possibilities and 'what ifs' that we just have to go slow.

-*-

"Have a nice day," The guy at the front desk smiled at us after giving Jafar and I wristbands to go to the cages. Okay, we're actually doing this. 

"Are you nervous?" Jafar raised an eyebrow, but you could see the amusement clearly on his face.

"What? No," I lied. I am very nervous. I did play little league when I was younger, but then again I was only about nine. "I'm ready to do this," I smiled confidently, but in the inside I was ready to make a run for it.

Jafar just smiled at me. "If you say so."

-*-

"Ahh, it's going to hit me!" I screamed and glared at the machine that's currently pelting me with baseballs. Jafar's standing on the outside of the cages trying his best to contain his laughter but failing. I take back what I said about being nervous. The balls are coming out every ten seconds, and I so far have hit a total of...

Wait for it...zero. I haven't hit anything after being in here for like fifteen minutes of pain and annoyance. I don't remember it being this hard to hit. I try all the things I used to do before--bending my legs and keeping my eye on the ball. Nothing is working!

"I know you can hit it, Ayah. Just choke up on the bat and get ready?"

I turned to look at him in horro. "You want me to swallow the bat then choke on it?!" I exclaimed in disgust. My outburst must have sent him over the edge, because as soon as he heard me, he bent over in laughter. Is that really what he wants me to do? I barely can hit the ball, and now he wants me to consume the stick I'm using?!

"Can you stop laughing and help me?" I whined.

While still laughing his head off, Jafar nodded and came inside the cages to me. But because he was too busy laughing at me, he forgot the machine was on and got hit in the back. It's a good thing it was on low.

"Ow!"

Now the roles are reversed with me laughing and him groaning in pain. Well, you know what they say. Karma's a—

"That actually hurt," Jafar winced at the no doubt stinging pain on his back. 

"Are you okay?" I asked between laughs and he shrugged.

"I'll live, but come on. Let's show you how to hit a ball."

"You may want to pause the machine first."

Jafar nodded and went for the pause switch, dodging another ball during his journey a few feet away. As he jogged back inside to me, he grabbed the bat and held it in his stance.

"Now, when you're batting, you need to bend your knees like this," He told me, showing me how his legs are bent. "Next, you choke up on the bat with your hands, watch me," He moved his hands up on the bat. He kept watching my reaction as it reigned in me what 'choking up on the bat' meant.

"Now you try."

I took the bat from him, mimicked his stance and swung the bat to get a feel for it.

"You're doing great, Masha Allah. Now I'm going to turn the machine on medium. If I go back to low, we will be waiting all night for the ball to get across the plate."

"Okay," I nodded and took a deep breath.

"It's on. Remember, concentrate and swing level."

After waiting a minute for the machine to warm up, the ball came towards the plate, and I swung with all I had and...missed.

"I can't do this," I stepped back from the plate and started to take off the helmet and batting gloves. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea. Nothing seems to be going right. When Jafar came in earlier, he hit every ball that came his way. All I did was stand there and make a fool out of myself.

"What if I helped you?" 

Pausing from ripping the little equipment I had off, I turned to stare at Jafar who happened to be standing right in front of me.

"It's a waste of time. You already tried to help but I couldn't hit it. I just can't do it."

"Yes you can, and you know why?"

I played along. "Why?"

"Because you have the best teacher there is, so come on."

Jafar stretched out his hand to me, and surprisingly I took it which put a smile on his face. Pulling me along with him, he grabbed the bat and moved me in front of the plate and handed me the bat. Thinking he was going to guide me in the position he did earlier, I froze when he wrapped his arms around my waist and whispered instructions in my ear.

"Now, choke up like this," He placed his hands over mine, moving them up a notch on the bat. "Great. Now look over to the machine and wait for your pitch."

Jafar then let go and moved to turn on the machine I didn't even knew he turned off back on. I then hid my face from anyone's view. If they saw me, they would think I swallowed a lemon.

Seconds later, the ball came. Eyeing it up, I swung the bat as hard as I could, dropping it when I felt a vibration in my hands.

"See?" Jafar smirked, "You hit it."

-*-

After a couple of hours of non-stop ball murdering, we stopped by the Dairy Queen for a snack.

"I never asked. How is your career?"

Jafar was taken aback by my question, but smiled nonetheless.

"It's going really well, Alhamdulillah. When I first started, I barely had a gig, but as I continued my journey, Allen booked me to open for big time names. I'm not really famous, just known in the music industry."

"I've seen many people, mainly girls fawning over you. You are a little more than known."

Jafar chuckled. "I love my fans, but I try not to think about the creepy ones."

"They're a handful," I pointed out. "Especially all the commenters on Jamila's blog."

"You know about that?" He asked and I smiled sheepishly.

"I helped her create it."

It was about a month after he left, the time when we were communicating like twice a day and I wasn't very upset with him. Jamila always wanted to make a blog and say whatever she wanted, and I wanted something to do. There aren't many things to do in a small town where the populations consist of elderly people.

"We were both anxious to experiment with something but we didn't have a topic. When you started to make your way up in California and repeat stuff that Allen told you to say, we couldn't help but write the truth."

"Were you the one who put that I was indeed married?"

I lowered my head in embarrassment and nodded.

"Don't be embarrassed. I like how you wanted to claim what was yours."

"I didn't like how you were to tell lies. I also didn't like the hurt of knowing that the words 'I'm single' came out of your mouth."

"I didn't want to say it, but in the messed up minds that are this world, they reacted to what I said by buying albums and going to concerts," He told me softly.

"That is messed up," I laughed. "But now that I hear why you did it..."

"Yeah?"

"It doesn't hurt any less," I stated and he grimaced. "I don't blame you for doing whatever necessary to get your career off the ground, but what you had to go through—what Allen had you do was messed up."

"I agree."

"Can you promise me that you won't do anything too crazy anymore? Not having a say over your life is...suffocating."

"It's not that bad—"

"It's not you," I told him. "You're the voice that makes everyone want to listen—all you. Don't let anyone change that again."

Smiling at me, Jafar took my hand and placed a kiss on it.

"I missed you."

-*-

Jafar:

Jafar 1

Jamila 0

Despite my sisters urge to show me how wrong today could have gone, I have proved her wrong. Even though going to the batting cages didn't seem like the ideal romantic thing to do, it gave me a chance to have some fun with my wife. Just saying that name for her makes my heart swell. She's everything for me and more.

Why did I ever leave her? I forgot how much fun we used to have. The Ayah that was laughing and talking with me today is the Ayah I missed. I haven't seen that side of her since before I left, before I told her of Allen's offer. I think that's when everything started to change.

Now as we drive back to Riverside, I can't help but smile at the site of Ayah curled up in the front seat asleep. We've literally been out all day. From leaving at around noon to now coming home just after Maghrib, I couldn't have asked for a better day.

-*-

"Ayah," I shook her lightly, trying to wake her up for about five minutes. Um Ayah stood at the door shaking her head at the sight of her daughter. "Ayah?"

"She's better off just sleeping the car," Um Ayah commented. "Believe me, trying to wake her up is a task."

"Let me try something before we camp her out in the car all night."

Um Ayah raised her hands in defeat, smiling. "Be my guest."

Clicking her seatbelt off, I put one hand under Ayah's thighs and another behind her back and proceeded to carry her inside.

"I'll get her purse," I nodded at my mother in law and made my way to her room.

I set her down gently on her bed and started to move towards the door when her hand stopped me.

"Thank you," She yawned.

I smiled, took off her shoes and pulling her covers over her. I placed a kiss to her forehead.

"You're welcome."

"Can you stay?" Ayah suddenly asked as I was on my way out. She lifted up into a sitting position and took a deep breath.

"I don't think that's a good idea," I shook my head. It wasn't. As much as I wanted to be with her again, I didn't want to rush into anything and put us dozens of steps farther than we already are. 

"I'm sure. It's been too long," She moved over into the bed making room for me, and I caved, walking forward and sitting on the bed. I took my shoes off and slowly laid down.

And so we laid there, each of us not knowing what to do and how to proceed. After months it had been strange to welcome each other back, but something about the situation of us here together made it all okay. She was okay. I was okay. We were okay.

-*-  
There's a special day coming up...

If you guessed my birthday, you got it right. I feel so old, lol. I will try my best to update on that day Insha Allah.

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	11. Chapter 11

Edited:

Published: Monday July 27 2015 8:55 p.m

Ayah:

July 14th

As I awoke from my slumber, I rubbed at my eyes to get the sleep out. I was about to go back to sleep without realizing I was still in my clothes from yesterday. How did that happen? Last night was such a blur. I remember Jafar trying to tell me that we were at my house, but everything after that is non-existent in my mind. I really hope I didn't say anything crazy, I tend to do that when I'm half asleep. Shaking the thoughts out of my head, I stood up and went to take a shower. 

I really must have been tired if I slept in my clothes. I never do that...

As I stood underneath the hot water that was flowing from the shower head, I couldn't help but smile at the thought of yesterday. It went better than I thought it would. All the tension was dropped by our laughter and replaced with smiles. But even though yesterday was fun, it wasn't enough. It doesn't make me want to scream 'I forgive you'. I hate having the feeling of not wanting to forgive so easily, but I just...can't.

Every time I try to make myself come to the realization that I shouldn't hold this grudge, I think about what he made me go through for almost a year, and all the urges to forgive are gone. Anyone else in my position would do the same.

-*-

After I finished up in the shower, I made my way in the kitchen to see Mama sat on the couch with one of her friends--Afifa Begum.

"Asalamu Alaikum." I greeted as I walked into the front room to give her a hug. 

"Wa Alaikum Salam." She smiled and returning the hug as eagerly as I did. "How have you been? I haven't seen you for a while, Ayah."

Mama and Afifa Begum have been friends since they were very young. It's safe to say that they were very good friends, considering they tried to have girls at the same time at one point. But Afifa Begun ended up having a son a couple of months before I was born, so when we were young they tried to plan Ahmed and I's wedding. Unfortunately for both, Ahmed is going to medical school across the country and I married Jafar. We just couldn't stop screwing up their fantasies.

"I'm well, Masha Allah. I was just about to make coffee, did you want some?"

Afifa Begum and Mama shared a look before she smirked. "Actually--"

"I'm sorry it took so long." Jafar suddenly said from where he was coming from the kitchen with two cups. He didn't notice me yet and handed Mama and Afifa Begum their cups. "I forgot how to use the coffee maker."

My mouth hung open in shock as I watched Jafar serve my mother and her friend coffee. When did he get here, and how long was I asleep?!

"You're too kind, Jafar. Ayah, why didn't you tell me how wonderful your husband is?" Afifa Begun scolded and took a sip of her coffee and smiled at Jafar. He quickly returned the smile before turning to stare at me.

I shrugged at her. "I forgot to, I guess."

"Ayah, we're planning a baby shower for Ahmed's wife Sarah right now, so if you and Jafar could..." Mama trailed off, raising her eyebrow at me to get the hint.

Nodding slowly, I walked to the kitchen to grab a snack before I head out. Jafar followed right behind me. But the strange thing is that as I'm stood in the kitchen doing what I normally do, it's not weird and awkward like it was a couple of days ago. It's still different but not unbearable.

"Can I help you with anything?" Jafar asked making me jump slightly as he came to the side of me.

"No," I Shook my head and scrunched my eyebrowstogether as I looked around the refrigerator for any leftover food.

I really don't feel like cooking anything.

"I can cook something for you if you want?"

I pursed my lips. "Did I say that out loud?"

Smirking at me in amusement, Jafar moved towards the refrigerator and took out eggs, cheese and butter.

"You just sit down and let me make you breakfast."

"I thought the women were suppose to do the cooking." I respond and raised an eyebrow at him.

"In some cases it's different."

"Like in this case?"

Jafar turned around and smiled. "Especially this case."

-*-

"I forgot you can cook almost as good as me." I moaned and shovelled the last piece of omelet into my mouth. We were sat near the water at the lake eating up the breakfast Jafar so nicely made.

"Almost?" Jafar scoffed at me mid bite of his apple that he calls breakfast.

"I will have you know that my cooking skills can not be taken lightly." I told him, smiling slightly as he let out a laugh.

"Trust me, I know how good your cooking is. I missed it the whole time I was in California."

"You could have come back for it," I whispered to myself, but he seemed to of heard me because he smiled sadly.

"I should have."

We sat there staring at each other for at least ten minutes, neither of us dared to turn away. It was one of those moments when you can tell what the other is thinking just by looking in their eyes, towards all the emotions. He looked calm and collected while he studies my features, but I could see a mixture of hope and guilt as I brought up the past, a time we both were vulnerable to new things.

We never really talked about what we did in our time apart. I know he did a tour and produced an album, but that's all I've heard. The first couple of months we talked I know he went on a few tours of Hollywood and met a couple actors and all, but I don't know anything else. Pathetic, isn't it? If someone asked me about my own husbands recent career moves, I wouldn't be able to tell them.

"Well this just got intense."

Pulling away from the staring competition Jafar and I were having, we both turned to see Jamila and Amna stood a couple of feet away with amused smiles. Well Amna is intensely typing on her phone.

"I shouldn't have showed her this spot." Jafar groaned in frustration, making me smile.

Jamila walked towards us and crouched down near Jafar.

"Now Jafar, if you didn't show me how to get here, you wouldn't have been able to suprise Ayah." She finished, smirking.

"Aunt Jamila, no offense but didn't that end badly?"

Jamila glared at her Amna who shrugged and went to sit by the water.

"Anyways," Jamila turned to us. "I thought we were going shopping for Zahrah!"

"Oh yeah," I remembered and placed a hand on my forehead. "I completely forgot. When do you want to go to the mall?"

"Now if you want," Jamila suggested, taking some of my omelet. "Jafar can drive us."

"Hmm," Jafar hummed, looking up from his phone to look at us in confusion. Now we know where Amna gets it from. "I can drive you where?"

Jamila threw a handful of grass at his obliviousness. "Keep up!"

I rolled my eyes. I might as well tell him. All they're going to do is argue.

"Your sister Zahrah is in a few weeks and we need to buy her a gift." I explained.

Jafar still looked confused. "Due for what?"

"Her baby." I told him. "She's going to try and come to town for the birth, but she does live in Alaska."

"So can you drive us?" Jamila asked impatiently.

"Yes, but we need to be in and out. I don't like being in the mall for long amounts of time."

I turned to him. "Why?"

"Because teenage girls find me. It's one thing to be slightly famous, but once Allen had my picture put in the teen magazine..."

"I saw that," Amna laughed. "My friends cut out the pictures of you and nailed them on their walls."

"Okay, creepy!" Jamila exclaimed in disgust. "We will be in and out as you please, because none of us want to see teens fawn over you, agreed?"

"Agreed." We all said in unison.

-*-

Even though we agreed, we weren't so lucky. About five minutes in to the mall, a group of girls came rushing forward to take a picture with Jafar. Some might get jealous because he's taking pictures with young females, but Jamila, Amna and I found it amusing. Even some guys came over to get a picture and a autograph.

To them he was smiling and laughing along with them, but we knew him. We could see how upset he was that his worry came true. They had him there for atleast fifteen minutes before he was able to continue walking with us. You have the occasional someone who pops up with a camera and pen, but that's it. It's Saturday so the mall is pretty packed. We haven't even found something yet and I can tell Jafar is annoyed. Not at us but at all the creepy fans he has.

"Finally," Jafar exclaimed, walking in the children's store along with Amna. He took her with him so they would go a little easier, but I doubt it. Amna is as sweet as a cookie.

"Why is there bright red lipstick on your cheek?" Jamila asked and pointed to his cheek and I stiffened a little.

Jafar turned to me with panic evident in his eyes. "I swear I didn't see her coming."

"He's right, Aunt Ayah," Amna piped in smiling with amusement. "The girl just started running toward us like her hair was on fire. By the time I told Uncle Jafar he was under attack, she was all up on him."

"Worst experience of my life."

"Wait, that's her!" Amna exclaimed while pointing out the window. She was dressed in a pair of denim capris and a white and yellow halter top that stopped mid thigh. She didn't look as crazy as her lips, but the way she's waving like she's lost her mind proves my suspicions. I couldn't help but glare at her.

"You need to wipe that off your face before you catch her crazy," Jamila laughed.

"I'll get some paper towel." I offered.

Jafar looked up and saw me leave and caught up with me.

"I'll come with you."

"No it's fine I--" I began to protest but he cut me off.

"No, you won't. I've been walking around the mall with my sister and niece, I want to walk with you, my wife."

I smiled and continued walking besides him until we reached the bathroom. When we did, I went in to grab a couple of peices of paper towel. With the amount of lipstick she had on, I wouldn't be suprised if it is permanently stuck to his face. Just the thought of another woman's face connecting with Jafar's sickened me. We have our fair share of problems, but it's still doesn't make me feel any better.

As I walked out, I handed the paper towel to Jafar and he started to wipe his face, but he was missing the main part.

"Up not down." I biy my lip as I watched as he continued to miss the spot that was on the top of his cheek. "No, you're missing!"

Jafar pulled back the paper towel in frustration and pushed it my way. "Can you do it?"

Hesitantly, I took the paper towel from him and held it in my slightly shaky hand. Jafar looked down at me with a slightly hurt expression of realization.

"You don't have to," He told me softly, reaching for the paper towel still in my hand.

"No," I shook my head. "Can you just bend your head a little?"

I lifted my arm to wipe the lipstick off his face, supringly I wasn't shaking. I don't even remember the last time I touched his face, it's been so long. He has slight stuble on his face, but up higher where I'm wiping is smooth. Surprisingly smoother than mine. 

Suddenly Jafar looked down to me. "I don't want you to have to wipe the proof of my fans off of my face, especially the girls."

I swallowed the small lump in my throat. "It doesn't bother me as much as before, but it's still disturbing."

Jafar let out a laugh. "Imagine being the one who gets tackled. Not so much fun."

This time I smiled. "Some people have no shame. I'm sure they would take you home if they could."

His eyes widen. "I may need to hire a bodyguard."

Laughing, I finished and threw away the paper towel I used and turned around to see Jafar's curious gaze on me.

"Does it feel like you still have been marked."

Jafar smirked and shook his head. "Another one would take my mind off of it."

"Jafar-"

"One little kiss?" He pouted playfully, pointing to his untouched cheek. "Right here. Come on!"

Laughing, I shook my head. "We should head back."

Jafar slumped his shoulders as he turned towards the end of the hallway that we were in.

-*-

After a crazy day of shopping, we piled our bags into the car and started our journey back home. The car ride was silent just like yesterday. Jamila was in the back reading a book, and Amna is fast asleep.

Salam, Ayah. Didn't I say to come over soon?!-Safeer

"I wonder who can make you smile like that." Jafar said while stealing looks at me.

"It's Safeer," I told him and he visibly relaxed. "He wants us to come over for dinner soon."

"Does he still want to beat me up?" Jafar asked in a teasing tone, but with a hint of seriousness.

"Not since I calmed him down," I waved off.

When do you want us to come? Jafar still thinks your fist wants to meet his stomach-Ayah

He replied almost instantly.

Tell your husband that yes, my fist misses the thoughts of punching the wind out of him, but I won't. We do need to talk though. Annie said we're free on Wednesday-Safeer

"They want us to come over on Wednesday."

"Okay that's fine."

Dinner is a go :)-Ayah

As we pulled up to my house, Jafar got out and grabbed my bags from the trunk and set them inside after I opened the door.

"I won't be in Riverside for the next two days, but I'm not going far. Wasim and I are taking Zak to a baseball game and staying for a few days."

"That sounds fun," I smiled. "Do you really want to go to dinner because we don't--"

He cut me off with a shake of his head. "We're going and there is nothing stopping us, Insha Allah."

I smiled. "Okay."

"I have to get going so I can plan our trip for tomorrow, but I'll see you soon."

"Insha Allah."

"Jafar smiled back. "Insha Allah."

As he started to walk down the steps, his words from earlier replayed in my mind.

Another one will take my mind off of it.

I could call him back like he did to me and kiss him on the cheek, but as I watched him get in his car I couldn't do it.

Not yet.

-*-

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